Because I Said So

Draws on medical case histories, scientific findings, and personal research by the author to separate myth from fact and debunk a vast array of parental edicts.

Contains over three hundred sixty tips on raising children including common sense advice on spoiled children, sibling rivalry, and television issues.

Yes, there are times when it’s appropriate to reason with your child, to patiently and eloquently explain why he or she needs to do as you ask. You might present convincing arguments like “Because it makes you strong”; “Because it will keep you safe”; “Because it’s good for you”; “Because it’s bad for you.” But there are times when the only thing that really makes sense is . . . “Because I said so!!” This book is a hilarious, honest romp through motherhood—the joys, the sleeplessness, the frazzled days, the unending carpooling, the in-house refereeing, the dieting (yeah, right), the worrying—and did we say, the joy? Here’s what some of that joy looks like—with excerpts straight from the book: • I tried to do the Buns of Steel video, but quickly realized that it wasn’t intended for people who have buns of pudding. • I felt like my head might explode. I kind of hoped it would so I could take a nice, peaceful ambulance ride out of there. • I was a little at a loss. I mean, those parenting books don’t tell you how to break up a fight over an imaginary friend. • Moms aren’t allowed to get sick more than one day a year. Single moms aren’t allowed to get sick ever. • Before you have children you can’t imagine yourself saying things like “Don’t put chocolate milk in your pants,” “Take the hot dog out of your nose,” or “Because I said so!” If you’re a mom-to-be or a mom in the trenches, you’ll love knowing that you’re not the only one out there who sometimes just figures it out as you go along—and sometimes can’t figure it out at all. But in the end, Dawn has these words of encouragement just for you: “Enjoy this time. Even when they make you crazy, these are the best days of your life.” And they really are, aren’t they?

For parents everywhere whose kids complain about helping around the house, stall over homework, and bicker with one other, help is at hand. With compassion and humor, this book takes on the most common points of kid-induced friction—those altercations and annoying behaviors that drive parents most nuts—and offers quick, practical how-to advice for how to handle them. It explains to parents how to navigate everyday challenges, from helping kids learn responsibility for their possessions to getting them to stop tattling, whining, and using disrespectful language. Complete with solutions, helpful hints, and interesting bits of information, this indispensable guide offers exasperated parents the emotional support and reassurance they need to reduce friction and increase communication in the household.

Kesa Sapiro had to grow up fast. With her parents gone and a little sister to protect, Kesa has spent over a decade of her life trying to keep a roof over their heads. She’s learned the hard way that love is a luxury and that the price is way too high. When her sister Josie announces she wants to marry a boy she’s known for less than a month, Kesa immediately forbids it. Shannon Dealan is floored when her son-by-choice says he wants to get married to a girl he’s just met. Shannon has real reason to scrutinize any strangers who come into Paz’s life. She’s not about to let him do anything stupid—and that includes believing in love at first sight. She knows too well there’s no such thing. Hoping to soften the objections of their jaded, overbearing elders, Josie and Paz arrange for them to meet and discuss the future like civilized adults…but absolutely nothing goes as planned.

Riding in the car with my mother on a cold winter's night, hearing the directive from my mother to purposefully say a sentence that included a curse word, just so that my mother could know her power over me and also knowing I could not say those words, my words would be nothing more than a whisper. I couldn't bring myself to loudly speak this sentence. As I spoke each word and did not speak the curse word, my mother turned back and hit me in the face, causing my mouth to bleed over my white cotton collar on my only winter coat. "You did not do what I told you! Now repeat what I said!" The second time I repeated the same as the first, without the curse word. Again, my mother turned around and hit me. I knew this would continue until I spoke that word! Her anger was overtaking my mother. In her anger, she shouted again, "You did not do what I told you!" In my tears, I asked, "Why are you doing this?" The loud response was, "Because I said so!" She again directed me to speak the sentence, so in desperation, I spoke the curse word. How do you balance your faith and obey your mother and father? It is such a struggle that I had to overcome. "Because I said so" doesn't provide a child a clear understanding on why a directive is given. I had to overcome and personally make the decision to change my heritage that I would pass down to my children and the next generations. Childhood does not have to be painful. My aim through this book is to provide hope and encouragement to others that have experienced or are experiencing suffering. Know that you can overcome and become the person to your family that you wanted to have as a child. Abuse does not have to continue through the generations. Be encouraged!

Do the words "What's for dinner?" make you cringe? Are you tired of one-word answers from the teenager in the house? These hilarious stories are a laugh-out-loud look at everyday life. From "A construction company...what were we thinking?" to "My Big, Fat Tongue," you won't be able to put this one down. Because I Said So! by comedy author Michelle Hoppe is a look into the ups and downs of raising a family, while attempting to become an author. Take a peek into the family life of the Hoppe clan and discover how Michelle turned everyday life into delightfully funny stories. Michelle was blessed with the ability to view life through rose tinted glasses. Unlike Claire Tomalin, who said "My life was a sort of series of random disasters," Michelle's life, with her twisted sense of humor and a madcap home crew, is more a series of random "by the seat of your pants motherhood". Growing up, Michelle loved to read books by Erma Bombeck; books like If Life is a Bowlful of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits and Motherhood taught her to look for the humor in life. Michelle's favorite Erma quote "When humor goes, there goes civilization!" seemed like a call to action, so this comedy autobiography is her contribution to the continuation of mankind, oops...personkind! This hilarious book contains humor about family life, motherhood, and parenting, and is sure to keep you laughing from beginning to end.

As a nervous child growing up in Brooklyn in the sixties, I tried to find happiness through friends and situations. These influences took me on a path of excitement as well as disappointment. I learned important lessons that shaped my life. This is my story.

Want to take control of your life? Educate yourself! This book will give you the materials you need to succeed with education on healthy eating, metabolism, menu planning, and recipes!

A single promise can change a life forever. We all make promises constantly. “Yes, I’ll be there.” “Sure, no problem!” But do we really mean what we are saying? What is the impact of a broken promise? And what happens to a life when a promise is honored? Because I said I would is the international social movement at the forefront of shifting how the world views commitment and accountability. With over 10.3 million Promise Cards distributed, this cause has played a unique role in changing lives around the world. Heartwarming, humorous, inspirational, and tragic—these stories will challenge readers to look deep within themselves and consider the importance of the promises they make. Through a collection of inspiring short stories and concise philosophical chapters, readers will gain the following: • Practical life lessons from surprisingly raw stories of everyday people with incredible determination • Useful advice on how to get better at keeping promises • Inspiring perspectives that can be utilized in leadership and character development initiatives One hundred percent of the author’s proceeds go to because I said I would, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that is bettering humanity through chapters of volunteers, character education in schools, accountability programs, and awareness campaigns with global reach.

Parenting is a competitive sport these days. With all the pressure on the modern parent, a little comic relief is not just welcome; it's a matter of survival. Because I'm the Child Here and I Said So offers a much-needed hilarious first-aid kit for parents of all types. Between the fat stacks of parenting books designed to engender paranoia and hyper-competitiveness, and the culture that demands everyone must "have it all," today's parents don't stand a chance. Because I'm the Child Here and I Said So by cartoonist Pat Byrnes is a gleeful send-up of modern parenting: the obsession, the sport, the pseudo science, and all the maddening challenges parenting presents. Each full-color cartoon features a smart punch line that will make you smile (or wince in recognition): * "A birthday party? Didn't we already do that kind of crap with your older sister?" * "I couldn't find a sitter, so I got a video." * "Just remember, son, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose-unless you want Daddy's love." Be advised, if you find yourself relating to any of the parents in this book, you need to chill out. Fortunately, Because I'm the Child Here and I Said So is the antidote to all your parenting woes. Whether you keep it for your own sanity or give it to a desperate parent, the cartoons of Pat Byrnes will delight and amuse.

Physical healing and delivery from mental and emotional torment are impossible through our own power but not improbable with God. God is in the healing business, and business is good. Believers have access today to the same power that Jesus used to heal all who were afflicted by the Devil. All physical sickness and mental or emotional torment are from the Devil. Jesus came to destroy the works of the Devil and finished the job. We can co-labor with God to do the things Jesus did. Now is the time to change your way of thinking and believe the good news. The experiences described in this book are available to all believers. You can participate with God in miracles, signs, and wonders through the renewing of your mind. Take Jesus at His word, and amazing things will happen in your church, your work and your home. Why? Because He Said So.

Love at first sight absolutely, positively doesn't exist...

The third deligtfully undead novel in New York Times bestselling author Michele Bardsley's Broken Heart series. Not just anyone can visit Broken Heart, Oklahoma, especially since all the single moms—like me, Patsy Donahue—have been turned into vampires. I’m forever forty, but looking younger than my years, thanks to my new (un)lifestyle. And even thought most of my customers have skipped town, I still manage to keep my hair salon up and running because of the lycanthropes prowling around. They know how important good grooming is—especially a certain rogue shape-shifter who is as sexy as he is deadly. Now, if only I could put a leash on my wild teenage son. He’s up to his neck in danger. The stress would kill me if I wasn’t already dead. But my maternal instincts are sill alive and kicking, so no one better mess with my flesh and blood.

People are often misunderstood and mistreated by others they have always looked up to and respected, including authority figures within the church, which can prevent them from reaching their God-given destiny. Many people still struggle with believing and trusting in God. They don't know to how to use the tools given to them as believers to their fullest extent. In Because He Said So, author Talin Aintablian explains in practical ways how to have and exercise their faith and con dence in God, while challenging the reader to put faith to work step-by-step in order to see the desired results.