I Want My Epidural Back

I Want My Epidural Back
Author: Karen Alpert
Publsiher: HarperCollins
Total Pages: 320
Release: 2016-04-05
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9780062427090

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Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child. If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book. But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book. I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.

I Heart My Little A Holes

I Heart My Little A Holes
Author: Karen Alpert
Publsiher: Harper Collins
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2014-04-08
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9780062341617

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Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Mamas Don t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A Holes

Mamas Don t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A Holes
Author: Karen Alpert
Publsiher: Unknown
Total Pages: 135
Release: 2021-04
Genre: Electronic Book
ISBN: 0358449855

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The Epidural Book

The Epidural Book
Author: Richard Siegenfeld
Publsiher: JHU Press
Total Pages: 152
Release: 2012-10-16
Genre: Health & Fitness
ISBN: 9781421407333

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The majority of women giving birth in the United States receive an epidural during labor and delivery; many others receive a spinal block. The Epidural Book fully explains anesthesia used during labor and vaginal delivery or C-section, with an emphasis on epidurals. Dr. Richard Siegenfeld answers pregnant women's questions, including • Who administers epidurals and spinal blocks and when?• How does anesthesia affect both the mother and the baby?• Under what circumstances should a woman avoid an epidural?• What happens during the recovery period?• What problems can arise? Written by an experienced anesthesiologist, The Epidural Book is lighthearted and informative. This easy-to-read guide helps an expectant mother prepare for her all-important day. -- Steven P. Cohen, M.D., Johns Hopkins School of Medicine

Mamas Don t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A Holes

Mamas Don t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A Holes
Author: Karen Alpert
Publsiher: Houghton Mifflin
Total Pages: 272
Release: 2021
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 9780358346272

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From the mom behind Baby Sideburns and the NYT bestseller I Heart my Little A-Holes, a hilarious and matter-of-fact parenting guide to raising happy, kind, and resilient kids.

Your Best Birth

Your Best Birth
Author: Ricki Lake,Abby Epstein
Publsiher: Grand Central Life & Style
Total Pages: 272
Release: 2009-05-01
Genre: Health & Fitness
ISBN: 9780446552134

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The national C-section rate is at an all-time high of 31 percent. Are all these C-sections necessary, or are some of them done simply for the sake of convenience? Inductions seem to be the norm, but are they always needed? Today, expectant mothers are often left feeling powerless, as their instincts are replaced by drugs and routine medical procedures. What you are about to discover is that you have a choice, and you have the power to plan the kind of birth that's right for you-whether it is at a birth center, a hospital, or at home. In YOUR BEST BIRTH, internationally known advocates of informed choice Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein inspire women to take back the birth experience, with essential advice on: · Positive and negative effects of epidurals, Pitocin, and other drugs and interventions · Inducing vs. allowing your labor to progress naturally · The truth behind our country's staggering C-section rate · Assembling your birth team and creating your birth plan. With chapters such as "Obstetricians: Finding Dr. Right," "Epidurals: You Haven't Got Time for the Pain," and "Electronic Monitors: Reading between the Lines," Lake and Epstein will encourage you to consider whatever your doctor, mother, and best friend may suggest in a new light. The book also includes inspiring birth stories, including those from well-known personalities, such as Laila Ali and Cindy Crawford. Packed with crucial advice from childbirth professionals, and delivered in a down-to-earth, engaging voice, YOUR BEST BIRTH is sure to renew your confidence and put the control back where it belongs: with parents-to-be! "Abby Epstein and Ricki Lake have taken a wonderful and constructive approach to ensuring an optimal birthing experience. Their language creates a 'climate of confidence' for pregnant women and their families, who must make key decisions about where, how and with whom to give birth in a health care system often unresponsive to our needs. This book is like a good friend giving wise counsel." --Judy Norsigian, co-editor of Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth and Executive Director, Our Bodies Ourselves

Don t Lick the Minivan

Don t Lick the Minivan
Author: Leanne Shirtliffe
Publsiher: Skyhorse
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2015-11-03
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 9781634509251

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As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia’s sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia. In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as: The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied. The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan’s paint with rocks. The funeral she officiated for “Stripper Barbie.” The horror of glitter. And much more! Shirtliffe eventually realizes that even if she can’t teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she’s a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins’ therapy fund. And possibly her own. Shirtliffe’s memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

Expecting Better

Expecting Better
Author: Emily Oster
Publsiher: Penguin
Total Pages: 336
Release: 2013-08-20
Genre: Health & Fitness
ISBN: 9781101617939

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“Emily Oster is the non-judgmental girlfriend holding our hand and guiding us through pregnancy and motherhood. She has done the work to get us the hard facts in a soft, understandable way.” —Amy Schumer *Fully Revised and Updated for 2021* What to Expect When You're Expecting meets Freakonomics: an award-winning economist disproves standard recommendations about pregnancy to empower women while they're expecting. From the author of Cribsheet and The Family Firm, a data-driven decision making guide to the early years of parenting Pregnancy—unquestionably one of the most pro­found, meaningful experiences of adulthood—can reduce otherwise intelligent women to, well, babies. Pregnant women are told to avoid cold cuts, sushi, alcohol, and coffee without ever being told why these are forbidden. Rules for prenatal testing are similarly unexplained. Moms-to-be desperately want a resource that empowers them to make their own right choices. When award-winning economist Emily Oster was a mom-to-be herself, she evaluated the data behind the accepted rules of pregnancy, and discovered that most are often misguided and some are just flat-out wrong. Debunking myths and explaining everything from the real effects of caffeine to the surprising dangers of gardening, Expecting Better is the book for every pregnant woman who wants to enjoy a healthy and relaxed pregnancy—and the occasional glass of wine.

Vagabonding with Kids Alaska

Vagabonding with Kids  Alaska
Author: AK Turner
Publsiher: Fever Streak Press
Total Pages: 135
Release: 2017-12-05
Genre: Travel
ISBN: 9780998654119

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Don't forget the bear spray. This is foremost in AK Turner's mind as she travels with her husband and two daughters north through Canada, along the Alaska Marine Highway, and ultimately to a tiny, roadless island, accessible only by boat from the nearby town of Sitka. The foursome adapts to island life, where their neighbors are few humans and thousands of giant slugs. With adventures in hot-springs hunting, fishing (kill the fish before filleting), and hiking on rain-forested volcanic islands, Vagabonding with Kids: Alaska provides raucous insight into life on the Alexander Archipelago.

Vagabonding with Kids Brazil

Vagabonding with Kids  Brazil
Author: AK Turner
Publsiher: Fever Streak Press
Total Pages: 135
Release: 2017-05-01
Genre: Travel
ISBN: 9780998654102

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Summary: The Turners are on the road again in a raucous continuation of the Vagabonding with Kids series, exploring Brazil from the Amazon rain forest to Rio's famed Copacabana Beach. But this time the in-laws are along for the ride, and three generations have to survive close quarters, radioactive beaches, and jungle hammocks for accommodations. Armed with little knowledge of Portuguese, but a great appreciation for the Brazilian national drink, the nomadic family finds adventure (and laughter) at every turn.

Vagabonding with Kids Australia

Vagabonding with Kids  Australia
Author: AK Turner
Publsiher: Fever Streak Press
Total Pages: 135
Release: 2016-12
Genre: Travel
ISBN: 9780991375998

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AK Turner wants to cuddle with a wombat. She wants it bad. In the hilarious sequel to Vagabonding with Kids, the nomadic family of four continues their journey with a two-month trip Down Under. AK Turner indulges her fascination with prisons, with no understanding of why her husband would rather spend every day at the beach. Their daughters aren't motivated by either, and are instead enthralled with the wonders of public toilets. As the Turners wind their way through Australia, all eyes are on the lookout for adventure. And wombats.

Someone Could Get Hurt

Someone Could Get Hurt
Author: Drew Magary
Publsiher: Avery
Total Pages: 256
Release: 2014-05-06
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 9781592408764

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A Deadspin columnist presents a heartfelt account about the ups and downs of raising a family in modern America that shares brutally honest insights into the coping mechanisms employed by today's parents, in a memoir that also shares his positive views on the strengths of American parenting.

The Preacher s Son

The Preacher s Son
Author: Dahlia Rose
Publsiher: Dahlia Rose Unscripted
Total Pages: 135
Release: 2014
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9182736450XXX

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Caleb McMullen had it all, a successful law practice and the prestige of being the golden boy of small town Jasper, Tennessee. Being the son of the preacher man meant that everyone looked to him to be the good guy. He was supposed to marry the sweet prim and proper apple pie girl. He didn’t want to be that guy, and no matter how many times he tried to break out of the mold people managed to drag him back in. The only thing that kept him sane was spending time with Angelica Edwards. Everyone called her Angel. She was a spicy temptress who managed a club in Georgia. Even though they were from two different worlds, when he was with her, his life felt full and happy. She was one hell of a dancer and her kisses were sugary sin. But when Angel showed up in Jasper to let him know he’d be a father, it turned the town on its ear. With her spicy I don’t give a fuck attitude and sleeve tattoo, she was the last person his mother wanted him to marry, let alone have a child with. But Angel gave him a choice—be the man they both wanted or the man everyone expected him to be. One would give him the happiness he desired and the other would drive her away. To him, the answer was easy, but that didn’t mean that the road to happiness was peaches and cream. It was littered with obstacles they would have to face.

Dear Nicholas Sparks

Dear Nicholas Sparks
Author: Dawn Torrence Ireland
Publsiher: Lulu.com
Total Pages: 692
Release: 2016-09-27
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 9781365423949

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On January 1, 2015 an open letter blog was created in high hopes that one mom, along with other determined parents and friends, could implore author Nicholas Sparks to write a book about a family dealing with Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH) to raise awareness of this birth defect CDH affects 1600 babies each year in the United States, taking the lives of 800 of these children. The cause is unknown and there is little awareness and virtually no research funding. CDH is as common as Spina Bifida and Cystic Fibrosis. Ms. Ireland founded CHERUBS in 1995, yet the world still does not know about this monster. It was her wild idea to convince Nicholas Sparks to support the cause and give these children a voice. To do what she hasn't been able to do - tell the world about Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. One book by Mr. Sparks that includes CDH can open doors to save the lives of 1000's of these children. 1 year, 365 letters, 1 goal - to save these invisible children. The save the cherubs.

Choice Control and Contemporary Childbirth

Choice  Control and Contemporary Childbirth
Author: Julie Jomeen,Lura L. Pethtel
Publsiher: Routledge
Total Pages: 176
Release: 2019-01-22
Genre: Medical
ISBN: 9781315346922

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Current maternity policy advocates choice and control for women in maternity care, and promotes women as active childbirth consumers and decision-makers. However, evidence that women receive true choice within contemporary maternity services is lacking, and continued and pervasive barriers to choice continue to have profound consequences for many. Choice, Control and Contemporary Childbirth explores the narrative childbirth experiences of a group of women, outlining current policy and providing an overview of the relevant discourses to which women are exposed when making choices for maternity care. This book is unique in presenting narratives that reveal varying identities for women across their maternity exerience, illustrating how maternity choices are simulataneously promised and constrained. It provides practitioners, service providers and policymakers in maternity care, and all those with an interest in birth provision, with profound insights into both women's experiences of childbirth and how choices can be better facilitated in future. 'Maternal choice and control are a challenge in contemporary society, with the changing demography of the population, the rising birth rate and financial constraints. Collecting this diverse information in one publication is timely and an invaluable resource for the practising and academically active midwives, obstetricians and health service managers.' - From the Foreword by Tina Lavender