People I Want to Punch in the Throat

People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Author: Jen Mann
Publsiher: Ballantine Books
Total Pages: 224
Release: 2014-09-09
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9780345549983

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NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Author: Jen Mann
Publsiher: Ballantine Books
Total Pages: 208
Release: 2014
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 9780345549839

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The author offers her witty, acerbic observation on life in suburban America, taking on topics like marriage, motherhood, and neighborhood politics.

Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Author: Jen Mann
Publsiher: Unknown
Total Pages: 135
Release: 2021-02-18
Genre: Electronic Book
ISBN: 1944123199

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If you've ever toiled away in a cubicle or sat through the third meeting your boss scheduled to plan another meeting, then you can relate to this book. This is the third book in Jen Mann's New York Times best-selling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint!This is the book you'll want to accidentally on purpose leave on the desk of that blowhard in marketing. This is the book you'll just happen to drop next the microwave in the break room hoping that Jan in accounting reads it before she reheats last night's smelly leftovers for lunch. This is the book you'll mail anonymously to your micromanaging boss with certain passages highlighted.The Punch List:Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely don't want to have a beer with you.The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesn't have to start with, "When I was at Princeton?"?The martyrs. You get sick days-use one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. You're not that important.

Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Author: Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Publsiher: @throat_punch Books
Total Pages: 130
Release: 2012
Genre: Blogs
ISBN: 0988408007

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From the popular, hysterical and award-winning blogger Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat.com comes her literary debut. This book is the next destined-to-be holiday classic! This is Jen's latest collection of humorous rants dissecting the “most wonderful time” of the year. She unleashes her biting wit and hilarious opinions on everything from cookie exchanges to annual humble brag Christmas letters from over achieving moms to horrifying Christmas' of her childhood. In this book you'll find such topics as: The White Trash Dollhouse Like a Neon Virgin in Guess Jeans and Swatch Watches A Very Special Christmas: Hoarders Style and, of course, the viral sensation: Over Achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies

Midlife Bites

Midlife Bites
Author: Jen Mann
Publsiher: Ballantine Books
Total Pages: 272
Release: 2022
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9780593158517

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"From the New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat comes a smart, funny, personal examination of what it's like to be at the crossroads of a woman's midlife crisis. Jen Mann had what appeared to be the perfect life: a successful career as a bestselling author and award-winning blogger, a devoted husband, teenage kids who weren't total jerks, and a badass minivan. So imagine her surprise when, at forty-seven years old, a midlife crisis kicked her straight in the ladybits. In an attempt to deal with the resulting range of emotions and physical changes in midlife, Jen posted a completely honest now-viral post, "Anyone Else Falling Apart Or Is It Just Me?" The response was instantaneous and overwhelming. Women from all over the country flooded the comments section, glad to see they weren't the only ones experiencing this feeling of isolation and dissatisfaction. It was the beginning of a movement. Midlife Bites encompasses these important conversations and observations, and creates a space and community for women to navigate through this major point in their lives, together, offering valuable insights and takeaways. Jen shares her own story as well as advice and wisdom from the online community she built. Please note, this is not your mother's midlife crisis. Different from the typical self-help book, Jen tackles everything that bites about midlife and nothing is off-limits with her no-nonsense approach. Subjects include: raging hormones; sex (after forty); finding your purpose; learning to make new friends (yes, even as a grown-up); moving out of your comfort zone; having conversations that count, no more small talk; and how to deal with rogue chin hairs (and other nuisances). Midlife Bites is Jen Mann's call to action. She is leading the movement to create a new space where middle-aged women can share openly and honestly with one another. This no-BS collection of essays will help start the conversation and keep it going, because as women, we all have a right to be happy, fulfilled, and to feel whole, no matter what stage of life"--

Moms Who Drink and Swear

Moms Who Drink and Swear
Author: Nicole Knepper
Publsiher: Penguin
Total Pages: 336
Release: 2013-04-02
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 9781101650943

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If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

How to Survive a Throat Punch

How to Survive a Throat Punch
Author: Drew Ross
Publsiher: Unknown
Total Pages: 326
Release: 2021-02-11
Genre: Electronic Book
ISBN: 9798707115660

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"I considered myself a teacher right up to the moment they removed my voice box. After that, I wasn't sure." Drew Ross grew up as the typical lost and wandering latchkey kid. Along with his siblings, he shuffled from his mother to his grandparents, to his father, and back again. In the midst of a chaotic, ever-changing universe, he remained determined to find love and belonging, eventually doing his best to build his own happy family. But even though he was a teacher and preacher, Drew lost his marriage, career, and voice in the space of one horrible year. All the lessons he'd learned and taught others were powerless to help him hold it all together. While recovering in a hospital bed shortly after his voice box has been removed, a powerful encounter with a fellow cancer patient forces Drew to look at the pain of his past in a new light. Choosing to fight rather than to run and hide, he begins tracing the threads that are coming together to form the fabric of his future. By sharing a tapestry of heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and often hilarious lessons involving family, romance, and identity, How to Survive a Throat Punch is a call to everyone enduring hardship to share their victories and failures, and, in doing so, begin to fight for what matters most. Drew Ross has been teaching in one form or another for over 25 years. He has instructed groups in military, advertising, secondary education, ministry, and corporate settings. His students have gone on to found an advertising agency in Brazil, graduate from Harvard Law School, get commissioned in the US Army, and experience other amazing adventures. Drew hopes he had some small part to play in their stories. He lives and continues to teach and write in the hills of Northern Kentucky. How to Survive a Throat Punch is his first book.

The Book Thief

The Book Thief
Author: Markus Zusak
Publsiher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
Total Pages: 592
Release: 2007-12-18
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 9780307433848

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • ONE OF TIME MAGAZINE’S 100 BEST YA BOOKS OF ALL TIME The extraordinary, beloved novel about the ability of books to feed the soul even in the darkest of times. When Death has a story to tell, you listen. It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will become busier still. Liesel Meminger is a foster girl living outside of Munich, who scratches out a meager existence for herself by stealing when she encounters something she can’t resist–books. With the help of her accordion-playing foster father, she learns to read and shares her stolen books with her neighbors during bombing raids as well as with the Jewish man hidden in her basement. In superbly crafted writing that burns with intensity, award-winning author Markus Zusak, author of I Am the Messenger, has given us one of the most enduring stories of our time. “The kind of book that can be life-changing.” —The New York Times “Deserves a place on the same shelf with The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank.” —USA Today DON’T MISS BRIDGE OF CLAY, MARKUS ZUSAK’S FIRST NOVEL SINCE THE BOOK THIEF.

Let s Pretend This Never Happened

Let s Pretend This Never Happened
Author: Jenny Lawson
Publsiher: Penguin
Total Pages: 384
Release: 2012-04-17
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 9781101573082

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The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

Traveling with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Traveling with People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Author: Jen Mann
Publsiher: Unknown
Total Pages: 135
Release: 2021-01-05
Genre: Electronic Book
ISBN: 1944123180

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Have you ever returned from a vacation and felt like you needed a vacation from your vacation? That's how New York Times bestselling author Jen Mann always feels.Packing a suitcase, putting on pants, and leaving the house already sounds like a lot of work, but then you have to deal with the punch list:Delayed flights.Center seats.People who think bare feet on an airplane is a good idea.Kids who don't use headphones.Dicey hotel rooms.Crappy wifi.Food poisoning.Plus the constant reminder that you've paid a fortune for this experience.This is the fourth book in Jen Mann's New York Times bestselling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint!You'll want to pack a copy of this book in your carry-on so you can prop it over your face while you're napping--perfect for keeping the talkers at bay. You'll want to read it out loud on your next road trip--great for drowning out all the fighting in the backseat. And you'll want to have it handy when there's a three-hour wait at the amusement park--excellent for keeping your mind off how much you paid to stand in the heat for a rollercoaster just to make some f*cking memories.

The Punch Escrow

The Punch Escrow
Author: Tal M. Klein
Publsiher: Inkshares
Total Pages: 356
Release: 2017-07-25
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9781942645580

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When he’s accidentally duplicated while teleporting, Joel Byram must outrun the most powerful corporation on the planet and find a way back to his wife in a world that now has two of him. Dubbed the “next Ready, Player One,” by former Warner Brothers President Greg Silverman, and now in film development at Lionsgate.

I Just Want to Pee Alone

I Just Want to Pee Alone
Author: Anonim
Publsiher: Throat_punch Books
Total Pages: 196
Release: 2013-02-27
Genre: Child rearing
ISBN: 0988408031

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Subtitle on cover: A collection of hilarious essays about motherhood.

Daughter of the Pirate King

Daughter of the Pirate King
Author: Tricia Levenseller
Publsiher: Feiwel & Friends
Total Pages: 336
Release: 2017-02-28
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 9781250095978

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There will be plenty of time for me to beat him soundly once I've gotten what I came for. Sent on a mission to retrieve an ancient hidden map—the key to a legendary treasure trove—seventeen-year-old pirate captain Alosa deliberately allows herself to be captured by her enemies, giving her the perfect opportunity to search their ship. More than a match for the ruthless pirate crew, Alosa has only one thing standing between her and the map: her captor, the unexpectedly clever and unfairly attractive first mate Riden. But not to worry, for Alosa has a few tricks up her sleeve, and no lone pirate can stop the Daughter of the Pirate King. In Daughter of the Pirate King, debut author Tricia Levenseller blends action, adventure, romance, and a little bit of magic into a thrilling YA pirate tale.

The Glass Castle

The Glass Castle
Author: Jeannette Walls
Publsiher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 368
Release: 2006-01-02
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 9781416544661

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Journalist Walls grew up with parents whose ideals and stubborn nonconformity were their curse and their salvation. Rex and Rose Mary and their four children lived like nomads, moving among Southwest desert towns, camping in the mountains. Rex was a charismatic, brilliant man who, when sober, captured his children's imagination, teaching them how to embrace life fearlessly. Rose Mary painted and wrote and couldn't stand the responsibility of providing for her family. When the money ran out, the Walls retreated to the dismal West Virginia mining town Rex had tried to escape. As the dysfunction escalated, the children had to fend for themselves, supporting one another as they found the resources and will to leave home. Yet Walls describes her parents with deep affection in this tale of unconditional love in a family that, despite its profound flaws, gave her the fiery determination to carve out a successful life. -- From publisher description.

Out of My Mind

Out of My Mind
Author: Sharon M. Draper
Publsiher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 295
Release: 2012-05
Genre: Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN: 9781416971719

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Considered by many to be mentally retarded, a brilliant, impatient fifth-grader with cerebral palsy discovers a technological device that will allow her to speak for the first time.