Squeeze Me

Squeeze Me
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Knopf
Total Pages: 352
Release: 2020
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9781524733452

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"A prominent high-society matron--who happens to be a fierce supporter of the President and founding member of the POTUSSIES--has gone missing at a swank gala. When the wealthy dowager Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons is later found dead in a concrete grave, panic and chaos erupt. The President immediately declares that Kiki Pew was the victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, as it turns out, is far from the truth. Meanwhile, a bizarre discovery in the middle of the road brings the First Lady's motorcade to a grinding halt (followed by some grinding between the First Lady and a lovestruck Secret Service agent). Enter Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, who arrives at her own conclusions after she is summoned to the posh island to deal with a mysterious and impolite influx of huge, hungry pythons"--

Squeeze Me

Squeeze Me
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
Total Pages: 352
Release: 2020-08-25
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9781524733469

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NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • A hilarious novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida’s gold coast, from the author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl “If you could use some wild escapism right now, Hiaasen is your guy.” —The New York Times WITH A NEW EPILOGUE At the height of Palm Beach’s charity ball season, Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, a prominent member of geriatric high society, suddenly vanishes during a swank gala. Kiki Pew was a founding member of the Potussies, a group of women dedicated to supporting the President, who spends half the year at the “Winter White House” just down the road. Meanwhile, Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, is called to the island to deal with a monster-sized Burmese python that has taken residency in a tree. But the President is focused on the disappearance of Kiki Pew. Never one to miss an opportunity to play to his base, he immediately declares her a victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth, which now lies in the middle of the road, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady’s motorcade to a grinding halt. Irreverent, ingenious, and uproariously entertaining, Squeeze Me perfectly captures the absurdity of our times.

Squeeze Me

Squeeze Me
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Hachette UK
Total Pages: 352
Release: 2020-09-10
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9780751581829

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'Scabrous and unrelentingly hilarious . . . the Trump era is truly Carl Hiaasen's moment' WASHINGTON POST From the bestselling author of Bad Monkey and Razor Girl comes this hilarious new novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida's gold coast. It's the height of the Palm Beach charity ball season: for every good cause, there's a reason for the local luminaries to eat (minimally), drink (maximally), and be seen. But when prominent high-society dowager Kiki Pew suddenly vanishes during a swanky gala, and is later found dead, panic and chaos erupt. Kiki was an ardent fan of the Winter White House resident just down the road, and a founding member of the POTUSSIES, a group of women dedicated to supporting their President - who immediately declares that Kiki was the victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth. The truth might just lie in the middle of the highway, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady's motorcade to a grinding halt. Enter Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, who is summoned to the posh island to deal with a mysterious and impolite influx of huge, hungry pythons . . . Carl Hiaasen can brighten even the darkest of days and Squeeze Me is pure, unadulterated Hiaasen. Irreverent, ingenious, and highly entertaining, it perfectly captures the absurdity of our times. 'A comic genius' EVENING STANDARD 'He has sky-high standards for elegance, crziness and mic-drop humor' NEW YORK TIMES 'He always adds something extra to the mix . . . jauntiness, wit and larger-than-life characters' SUNDAY EXPRESS

Squirm

Squirm
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
Total Pages: 288
Release: 2018-09-25
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 9780385752992

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A wildly entertaining adventure involving snakes, grizzlies, a menacing drone, a missing father, and the kid determined to find him. In classic Hiaasen fashion, the animals here are wild, and the people are wilder! Some facts about Billy Dickens: * He once saw a biker swerve across the road in order to run over a snake. * Later, that motorcycle somehow ended up at the bottom of a canal. * Billy isn't the type to let things go. Some facts about Billy's family: * They've lived in six different Florida towns because Billy's mom insists on getting a house near a bald eagle nest. * Billy's dad left when he was four and is a total mystery. * Billy has just found his dad's address--in Montana. This summer, Billy will fly across the country, hike a mountain, float a river, dodge a grizzly bear, shoot down a spy drone, save a neighbor's cat, save an endangered panther, and then try to save his own father. "A fun romp that will keep readers hooked." —The New York Times

Razor Girl

Razor Girl
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Vintage
Total Pages: 352
Release: 2016-09-06
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9780385349758

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A lovable con woman and a disgraced detective team up to find a redneck reality TV star in this raucous and razor-sharp new novel from Carl Hiaasen, the bestselling author of Bad Monkey. Merry Mansfield, the eponymous Razor Girl, specializes in kidnapping for the mob. Her preferred method is rear-ending her targets and asking them for a ride. Her latest mark is Martin Trebeaux, owner of a private beach renourishment company who has delivered substandard sand to a mob hotel. But there's just one problem: Razor Girl hits the wrong guy. Instead, she ends up with Lane Coolman, talent manager for Buck Nance, the star of a reality TV show about a family of Cajun rooster farmers. Buck Nance, left to perform standup at a Key West bar without his handler, makes enough off-color jokes to incite a brawl, then flees for his life and vanishes. Now a routine promotional appearance has become a missing persons case. And Andrew Yancy, disgraced detective-turned-health inspector, is on the job. That the Razor Girl may be the key to Yancy's future will be as surprising to him as anything else he encounters along the way—including the giant Gambian pouched rats that are haunting his restaurant inspections.

Skinny Dip

Skinny Dip
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Random House
Total Pages: 475
Release: 2005
Genre: Agricultural industries
ISBN: 9780552772532

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Doctoring water samples to help his corrupt agribusiness employer to continue illegal dumping in the Everglades, biologist Chaz Perrone attempts to murder his wife, who has figured out his scam and who survives to plot her husband's downfall.

Star Island

Star Island
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
Total Pages: 352
Release: 2010-07-27
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9780307594389

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Meet twenty-two-year-old Cherry Pye (née Cheryl Bunterman), a pop star since she was fourteen—and about to attempt a comeback from her latest drug-and-alcohol disaster. Now meet Cherry again: in the person of her “undercover stunt double,” Ann DeLusia. Ann portrays Cherry whenever the singer is too “indisposed”—meaning wasted—to go out in public. And it is Ann-mistaken-for-Cherry who is kidnapped from a South Beach hotel by obsessed paparazzo Bang Abbott. Now the challenge for Cherry’s handlers (über–stage mother; horndog record producer; nipped, tucked, and Botoxed twin publicists; weed whacker–wielding bodyguard) is to rescue Ann while keeping her existence a secret from Cherry’s public—and from Cherry herself. The situation is more complicated than they know. Ann has had a bewitching encounter with Skink—the unhinged former governor of Florida living wild in a mangrove swamp—and now he’s heading for Miami to find her . . . Will Bang Abbott achieve his fantasy of a lucrative private photo session with Cherry Pye? Will Cherry sober up in time to lip-synch her way through her concert tour? Will Skink track down Ann DeLusia before Cherry’s motley posse does? All will be revealed in this hilarious spin on life in the celebrity fast lane. BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey.

Basket Case

Basket Case
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Vintage Books
Total Pages: 317
Release: 2013
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9780345806536

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Once a hotshot investigative reporter, middle-aged Jack Tagger now bangs out obituaries for a South Florida daily. When Jimmy Stoma, the infamous front man of Jimmy and the Slut Puppies, dies in a diving "accident, " Jack uses clues from the singer's own music to unravel the mystery and resurrect his career in the process.

Sick Puppy

Sick Puppy
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
Total Pages: 352
Release: 2001-05-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9780375412738

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When Palmer Stoat notices the black pickup truck following him on the highway, he fears his precious Range Rover is about to be carjacked. But Twilly Spree, the man tailing Stoat, has vengeance, not sport-utility vehicles, on his mind. Idealistic, independently wealthy and pathologically short-tempered, Twilly has dedicated himself to saving Florida's wilderness from runaway destruction. He favors unambiguous political statements -- such as torching Jet-Skis or blowing up banks -- that leave his human targets shaken but re-educated. After watching Stoat blithely dump a trail of fast-food litter out the window, Twilly decides to teach him a lesson. Thus, Stoat's prized Range Rover becomes home to a horde of hungry dung beetles. Which could have been the end to it had Twilly not discovered that Stoat is one of Florida's cockiest and most powerful political fixers, whose latest project is the "malling" of a pristine Gulf Coast island. Now the real Hiaasen-variety fun begins . . . Dognapping eco-terrorists, bogus big-time hunters, a Republicans-only hooker, an infamous ex-governor who's gone back to nature, thousands of singing toads and a Labrador retriever greater than the sum of his Labrador parts -- these are only some of the denizens of Carl Hiaasen's outrageously funny new novel. Brilliantly twisted entertainment wrapped around a powerful ecological plea, Sick Puppy gleefully lives up to its title and gives us Hiaasen at his riotous and muckraking best. BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey.

Flush

Flush
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
Total Pages: 312
Release: 2005-09-13
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 9780375837524

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A hilarious, high-stakes adventure involving crooked casino boats, floating fish, toxic beaches, and one kid determined to get justice. This is Carl Hiaasen's Florida—where the creatures are wild and the people are wilder! You know it's going to be a rough summer when you spend Father's Day visiting your dad in the local lockup. Noah's dad is sure that the owner of the Coral Queen casino boat is flushing raw sewage into the harbor–which has made taking a dip at the local beach like swimming in a toilet. He can't prove it though, and so he decides that sinking the boat will make an effective statement. Right. The boat is pumped out and back in business within days and Noah's dad is stuck in the clink. Now Noah is determined to succeed where his dad failed. He will prove that the Coral Queen is dumping illegally . . . somehow. His allies may not add up to much–his sister Abbey, an unreformed childhood biter; Lice Peeking, a greedy sot with poor hygiene; Shelly, a bartender and a woman scorned; and a mysterious pirate–but Noah's got a plan to flush this crook out into the open. A plan that should sink the crooked little casino, once and for all.

Tourist Season

Tourist Season
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Penguin
Total Pages: 413
Release: 1986-03-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9781101436653

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Take a trip to exotic South Florida with this dark, funny book that established Carl Hiaasen as one of the top mystery writers in the game. The first sign of trouble is a Shriner's fez washed up on a Miami beach. The next is a suitcase containing the almost-legless body of the local chamber of commerce president found floating in a canal... The locals are desperate to keep the murders under wraps and the tourist money flowing. But it will take a reporter-turned–private eye to make sense of a caper that mixes football players, politicians, and one very hungry crocodile in this classic mystery that GQ called “one of the top ten destination reads of all time.”

Stormy Weather

Stormy Weather
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
Total Pages: 335
Release: 2010-08-11
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9780307767417

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"Hysterically funny. . . . Hiaasen at his satirical best." —USA Today When a ferocious hurricane rips through southern Florida, con artists and carpetbaggers waste no time in swarming over the disaster area. Among them are insurance fraudsters, amateur occultists, and ex-cons on the loose. And caught in the middle are Max and Bonnie Lamb, honeymooners who abandon their Disney World plans to witness the terrible devastation. But when Max vanishes, Bonnie, aided by a mysterious young man with a tranquilizer gun and a roomful of human skulls, has to follow her only clue: a runaway monkey. The path of this motley crew will be forever changed by a crazed and determined man who has devoted his very strange existence to saving Florida from the kinds of people blown in by the hurricane. The hilarious and scathing muckraking tradition that Carl Hiaasen has so mercilessly made his own continues in Stormy Weather, where there is no calm eye.

The Inequality Machine

The Inequality Machine
Author: Paul Tough
Publsiher: HarperCollins
Total Pages: 432
Release: 2019-09-10
Genre: Social Science
ISBN: 9780544944367

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First published as The Years That Matter Most From best-selling author Paul Tough, an indelible and explosive book on the glaring injustices of higher education, including unfair admissions tests, entrenched racial barriers, and crushing student debt. Now updated and expanded for the pandemic era. When higher education works the way it’s supposed to, there is no better tool for social mobility—for lifting young people out of challenging circumstances and into the middle class and beyond. In reality, though, American colleges and universities have become the ultimate tool of social immobility—a system that secures a comfortable future for the children of the wealthy while throwing roadblocks in the way of students from struggling families. Combining vivid and powerful personal stories with deep, authoritative reporting, Paul Tough explains how we got into this mess and explores the innovative reforms that might get us out. Tough examines the systemic racism that pervades American higher education, shows exactly how the SATs give an unfair advantage to wealthy students, and guides readers from Ivy League seminar rooms to the welding shop at a rural community college. At every stop, he introduces us to young Americans yearning for a better life—and praying that a college education might help them get there. With a new preface and afterword by the author exposing how the coronavirus pandemic has shaken the higher education system anew.​

Hoot

Hoot
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Yearling Books
Total Pages: 292
Release: 2006
Genre: Alligators
ISBN: 9780440421702

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Roy, who is new to his small Florida community, befriends a mysterious boy who introduces him to potty-trained alligators, burrowing owls, and sparkly-tailed poisonous snakes. A Newbery Honor Book, ALA Notable Book, & ALA Best Book for Young Adults. Reissue.

Bad Monkey

Bad Monkey
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publsiher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
Total Pages: 336
Release: 2013-06-11
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9780385350075

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Andrew Yancy—late of the Miami Police and soon-to-be-late of the Monroe County sheriff’s office—has a human arm in his freezer. There’s a logical (Hiaasenian) explanation for that, but not for how and why it parted from its shadowy owner. Yancy thinks the boating-accident/shark-luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, the sheriff might rescue him from his grisly Health Inspector gig (it’s not called the roach patrol for nothing). But first—this being Hiaasen country—Yancy must negotiate an obstacle course of wildly unpredictable events with a crew of even more wildly unpredictable characters, including his just-ex lover, a hot-blooded fugitive from Kansas; the twitchy widow of the frozen arm; two avariciously optimistic real-estate speculators; the Bahamian voodoo witch known as the Dragon Queen, whose suitors are blinded unto death by her peculiar charms; Yancy’s new true love, a kinky coroner; and the eponymous bad monkey, who with hilarious aplomb earns his place among Carl Hiaasen’s greatest characters. Here is Hiaasen doing what he does better than anyone else: spinning a tale at once fiercely pointed and wickedly funny in which the greedy, the corrupt, and the degraders of what’s left of pristine Florida—now, of the Bahamas as well—get their comeuppance in mordantly ingenious, diabolically entertaining fashion.